I'll Always Be Waiting For You
by Power of the Pen12
Summary: Holly's husband, Trouble Kelp, has been killed by some old rivals; she seeks comfort with Artemis, who is painfully in love with her. Oneshot. Angst; H/T, one-sided A/H. Written before AF 6. The song is "Shiver" by Coldplay. Yes, a songfic.


**I've been uploading all my old fics lately, so enjoy. This was written before AF 6, I believe.**

**So I look in your direction****  
****But you pay me no attention, do you?****  
****I know you don't listen to me****  
****'Cos you say you see straight through me, don't you?****  
**

There is nothing like a book to take your mind off unwanted subjects. You cannot help but to fall into the story, your feelings melding into those of the characters. You are a void, only there to inhabit the characters and places embedded in the pages. I use books as a distraction often, and yet it never fully gives me peace of mind. Her face seems to be etched into the page, smiling up at me.

For the ten thousandth time, I try to read the book before me; Pride and Prejudice, a classic tale that I had, oddly, never read. Twenty minutes earlier, I had found to my surprise that I couldn't get past the first sentence without thinking of _her_. Every word, every letter melded into her name.

Sighing, I lowered my eyes to the weathered first page, scanning the first sentence carefully.

_It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of an elf.__  
_

No, not elf. Wife. _Wife_. Damn. Why was this happening to me?

**on and on****  
****From the moment I wake, to the moment I sleep****  
****I'll be there by your side; just you try and stop me****  
****I'll be waiting in line, just to see if you care****  
**

"Artemis?"

Butler's deep voice cut through my frazzled thoughts like a knife; I sighed with relief, relishing the Holly-free moment.

"Yes, old friend?" I replied, snapping the old book shut with a snap. Butler looked stricken.

"It's Holly, sir- she just called on your communicator. It was on the kitchen table, so Juliet answered it; I apologize for the invasion of your privacy, by the way."

"No, no, it's completely fine, what did she say?" I said impatiently, fearing the worst. Butler's expression really wasn't helping my attitude.

"Trouble Kelp is dead; some Black Market dealers had a score to settle, and shot him to death. A few times more than necessary, it seems; they emptied their guns into the poor guy. Holly is not taking it very well, as you can imagine."

Yes, I could imagine. I could imagine very well. Holly and Kelp were wed just three months ago; this must be horrible for her.

"Ah. Is she coming over?" I asked, not sure whether I would like to see Holly at the moment; her face was always a comfort, yet also sent a thrill of heartache through my body, usually keeping me awake for a fortnight.

"She's already aboveground. Artemis, she's really torn up about this. Juliet said she sounded suicidal," Butler said tentatively, anticipating my response.

"Well, we'll have to do something about that," I said angrily, feeling the fear bubble in my stomach, stopping my heart. If Holly was gone, I was sure I would be forced to follow her. She was my everything.

**Oh…****  
****Did you want me to change?****  
****Well I'd change for good****  
****And I want you to know that you'll always get your way****  
****I wanted to say…****  
**

There was a knock at the door. "Let me in! Please, I don't have much magic left! I can't even shield!"

My legs turned to jelly; her voice was the only thing I could hear, drowning out all other thought. When had I fallen so deeply in love with her? It was surely gradual; I hadn't even felt it happening, and then suddenly Holly was the only one I could ever want.

I rushed to the door, flinging it open harder than necessary. There she was; though her expression was the most twisted and desperate I had ever seen, Holly was still incredibly beautiful. Scarily so.

It had begun raining; I hadn't even heard the pitter-patter of the droplets on the roof. Holly's auburn hair was soaked through, hanging limply by her face. Her eyes were wide and horrified, and I could just make out tears flowing down her face with the rain. Her body convulsed violently with the sobs that shook her soul; a truly pitiful creature.

"Oh, Holly…" was all I could say. She tried to laugh; it came out as a hiccup. I grabbed her small shoulder, pulling the little elf inside. She immediately bent double, her face turning green.

**Don't you shiver****  
****Shiver****  
****Sing it loud and clear****  
****I'll always be waiting for you****  
**

"You have permission to be in my house!" I shouted quickly. How stupid of me to forget the simple invitation. As if Holly needed to feel any worse at the moment.

"Holly!"

Juliet bounded down the stairs, knocking me aside impatiently to get to her broken friend. She wrapped her arms around Holly, a trickle of tears smudging her makeup. Holly was a stone statue in Juliet's arms; the only part of her showing emotion was her face.

"J-Juliet, let go," Holly gasped, the words riding on a sob. Juliet backed away a few steps, looking slightly hurt.

"Holly, why don't you sit down?" I asked quietly, feeling my own heart breaking at the sight of Holly's anguished face. It was lucky I had had years of practice concealing my emotions. If not, I would probably look the same as Holly did now; my face a mask of overwhelming sadness.

"C-can we go to your room?" Holly asked, meeting my gaze. I nodded silently, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. Juliet looked like she might protest. I shot a warning glance her way; she recoiled immediately, biting her lip.

We stumbled up the many stairs, Holly trying desperately to keep herself together, probably for me. I wanted to say something comforting, but, as usual, the words seemed to wither in my throat. I just wasn't that emotional; at least on the outside. I signaled to Butler to disconnect the security cameras in my bedroom. We would need some privacy.

**So you know how much I need you****  
****But you never even see me, do you?****  
****And is this my final chance of getting you****  
**

After what seemed like hours, we reached my bedroom. I closed the door quietly, turning away as Holly dissolved into tears on my bed. I knew she was still holding most of her pain inside; her sobs were quiet and small.

I crossed my room in three strides, sitting beside Holly on my bed. She looked up, trying hard to compose her features into something almost business-like.

"Don't," I whispered, finally able to force some emotion into my voice. "Please, Holly, don't try and pretend for me."

Holly looked questioning, as though I would hold this against her later in life. I laughed, though this was anything but humorous.

"Just let it out," I told her, drinking in her pretty features almost involuntarily; I could never get enough of her. Holly was a goddess, even in her most desperate hours. "If you don't now, you might break down at work; I doubt the men there are as understanding as I will try to be."

Holly seemed to give in, letting loose with her tsunami of heartbreaking pain. Her head fell to her hands, still trying to stifle some of the sound, though it didn't help. Her entire body shook with the raw cries, her tears falling rapidly onto her torn LEP suit. The sounds coming from her throat were unlike normal sounds of pain; it was more like she was enveloping me in her mind so that I hurt as she hurt. The sounds weren't horribly loud, and I probably wouldn't have been so terrified if, say, Juliet had been crying instead of Holly; but seeing the LEP captain so emotional was truly horrifying, seeing as I had never even seen Holly cry before. Well, not like this.

**And on and on****  
****From the moment I wake, to the moment I sleep****  
****I'll be there by your side; just you try and stop me****  
****I'll be waiting in line, just to see if you care****  
**

After just minutes, Holly forced herself to shut off the waterworks. She sat up slowly, wincing as each vertebrate straightened. She was ashamed of herself, and looked at me guiltily. I felt like screaming.

"Holly, you've just experienced a tragedy unlike anything else," I said softly. "Don't you dare feel sorry for letting the pain show."

Holly shook her head, shoulders hitching with stifled sobs. "Artemis, I just (hic) hate to become so… undone. I wouldn't have come here at all, but I didn't know where else to turn. I couldn't talk to Foaly; Trouble's d-death hurt him as well. He would break down after two minutes of conversation; you know how emotion the centaur is."

I winced slightly as Holly's voice broke. As much as I wanted to be there for her in her hour of need, my primitive instinct was to get up and run. It wasn't my fault; males have a difficult time dealing with this kind of emotion.

"Well, I'm here for you," I said, resenting the awkwardness of the words. Holly smiled, brushing the last of the tears from her face.

"That does help, Artemis. It really does."

The warmth in her voice melted me. Confidence surged through my veins, and I felt truly happy for the first time in about three months. How horrible that Commander Kelp's death should bring me such happiness.

**Oh…****  
****Did you want me to change?****  
****Well I'd change for good****  
****And I want you to know that you'll always get your way****  
****I wanted to say…****  
**

"I just don't know what to do," Holly said sadly. She sounded so defeated. "It's like the meaning of life, the reason for my existence, is gone, and I have no purpose. Without Trouble, I feel so empty."

A surge of anger flashed through my body, pulsing red hot in my veins. Was Holly so blind that she could not see how I felt about her? Did she not know how her words wounded my heart? She was all I could think about, and yet she didn't spare a thought for me. She was my everything; Trouble was hers. And her love for the late Commander blasted any other thought from her mind. Or maybe I was just that talented at hiding my emotions.

"I'm facing hundreds of years, completely alone, being torn apart by this loss," Holly whispered, her voice strained and desperate. "I can't go on like this, Artemis."

Her words snapped my mind back to the present. It seemed puzzle pieces were clicking together in my head, connecting the dots.

Holly couldn't go on without Trouble; thought her life had no meaning; and, though I shared some of her pain and misery, Holly's life was a lot longer than my own. In her position, I knew exactly what I would do. And hadn't Butler mentioned something about Holly looking suicidal…

"Holly, no!" I shouted, causing the small elf to jump in surprise. She looked at me questioningly, but I knew she knew exactly what I was talking about. Holly was never a great actress, and I saw through her innocence in a second.

"Holly, your life _does_ have meaning, more than you know. You have a boatload of fairies and humans alike that can not, will not survive without you!"

"But that's just it; I can not, will not survive without Trouble!" Holly moaned. I grimaced; she sounded like a child.

**Don't you shiver****  
****Shiver****  
****Sing it loud and clear****  
****I'll always be waiting for you****  
**

"Put aside your own feelings for a moment," I said harshly, ignoring the astonished look on Captain Short's face. "Think about what life would be like for your loved ones without you."

"What loved ones?" Holly snapped. Her jaw was set firmly, her eyes hard and sure. I didn't want to argue, for once; though Holly was trying to be menacing, her lip trembled in the slightest and I could see the extra shine glistening in her eyes.

"I do not know your personal life extremely well, but I do know of-," I began, but Holly cut me off.

"My 'loved ones' all died a very long time ago, Artemis," she whispered, trying to conceal the waver in her voice while staring at me defiantly. "My parents are both dead, along with the only close friends I ever had. Oh, I never told you?" she paused, noticing my startled face. Holly laughed bitterly, wiping a tear impatiently off her face. "I don't think I've ever told anyone, actually. It didn't involve a mass murderer or horrific explosion; they were just accidents, one after another.

"The first to go was Kara. She caught Spelltropy, a very late case. She was isolated from the other sixth-graders; we were out of the cure, the Silky Sifaka Lemur fluid had been all used up. No one had any idea where she got it from. Kara was a lost cause.

"I stayed with her until the very end; it was heartbreaking, and left me in a deep depression for months. You see, Artemis, when you told me I had infected your mother, I thought for sure I had developed Spelltropy from Kara."

Holly had to stop there for a moment, and I could see the crushing yet contained sadness in her eyes. Shame seemed to fill my stomach; I dropped my head a degree.

"The second and third deaths happened much later in my life. Jean had been my friend since High School, and it was the summer before that she had introduced me to Andrea. The three of us quickly bonded; I hadn't felt so good in years. They were both Marine Biologists; I had just become a Corporal.

"Their deaths resulted of a stupid mistake made by a clumsy sprite. I won't go into detail. I've said too much already."

**And on and on****  
****From the moment I wake, to the moment I sleep****  
****I'll be there by your side; just you try and stop me****  
****I'll be waiting in line, just to see if you care****  
**

"Go on if you want to," I murmured, not willing to admit that the caveman instinct to turn and run was becoming even more persistent, begging me to leave, to abandon the elf beside me and disappear out the door.

"No," Holly said, shaking her head. "I'm sorry I told you about them, Artemis. It's all in the past now, I shouldn't have even brought it up. I should be going anyway."

This was the part of Holly that infuriated me; it seemed whenever she truly opened up to me, her first instinct was to bolt out the door and hope I forgot everything I had learned about her past. As she stood to leave, I grabbed her wrist.

"If you leave now, I'm not sure I'll ever see you again," I told her, suppressing the waver in my voice. "You're not leaving until I know you still have a future. All right?"

I gripped her shoulders, shaking her slim frame slightly. "_All right?_"

"Let me go, Artemis," Holly hissed, and I could see the desperation and anger surface in her eyes. "You've done enough."

She struggled harder, finally breaking free of my grip. But Holly did not take even one step toward the doorway. Her mismatched eyes were pained, and she looked at me apologetically.

"Forgive me," she whispered. And then she was gone, out the door and into the night. I stood, stunned, unable to process her last words. Forgive her for what?

**And it's you I see but you don't see me****  
****And it's you I hear so loud and so clear****  
****I sing it loud and clear****  
****And I'll always be waiting for you****  
**

I ran through the manor, trying desperately to catch up with my elfin friend. I couldn't let her leave. And why had she left anyway? Holly had come to Fowl Manor for help, yet had left before I could say barely a word of comfort. Why bother to come at all unless…

I stopped dead in my tracks, the horrible, horrible truth washing over me like a tsunami. Holly hadn't come for help at all. She had made up her mind long before she had arrived at my doorstep. Holly hadn't come for persuading; she had come to say goodbye.

I had lost her.

My unrequited love was going to commit suicide.

"BUTLER!" I shouted, barely hearing my own cracking voice. There was a strange ringing in my ears.

My faithful manservant came rushing to meet me, along with his younger sister. "Artemis, what happened?" he asked, looking worried.

"Holly just left," Juliet said sadly. "She left you a note, though. I do hope she feels bet-,"

"Holly's not going to feel better, she's gone to commit suicide!" I screamed. Both Butlers were shocked, and stood stock still. Well, that didn't help.

"We have to find her!" I choked, practically dragging both siblings down the hall. "Go, just go."

Both were out the door in a flash. I followed slowly, unable to force my numb legs to move faster than a turtle would. I opened Holly's note with shaking hands. It read:

Artemis,

Let me begin by saying I'm truly sorry for what I'm about to do. You have probably figured it out by now. It must be done; I simply can't go on like this. Trouble Kelp became my entire life.

Secondly, let me apologize infinitely for what this will do to you. I'm not stupid, Artemis. I know how you feel about me. I felt like a monster, hurting you every time we spoke. I will never hurt you again.

It seems stupid, doesn't it? I'm at the top of my game; in another year, I would've been Major. But the promotion would've been meaningless without Trouble beside me, my Commander, guiding me through missions and helping me every step of the way.

Be safe, Mud Boy. That is my only wish for you. A genius like this does not deserve to be wasted. Do great things.

Sincerely,

Captain Holly Maria Short Kelp

**Don't you shiver****  
****Shiver****  
****Sing it loud and clear****  
****I'll always be waiting for you****  
**

I stared at the paper until my eyes stung. How dare she. How _dare_ she. Holly removes herself from my life and still asks that I live on? How? What good is a genius without a cocky fairy by your side, her snide comments and occasional punches the only things keeping your ego from inflating to the size of a circus tent?

Anger and agony overwhelmed my senses. I sank to the ground, barely feeling the residual drops of rain on my neck and back. A dim thought broke through the haze of hopelessness. I vaguely wondered if Butler had found Holly. But I knew if Butler did find her, then Holly would find some way to commit the act. She truly could not be stopped. And did I really want to force Holly to live?

Of course, I scolded myself mentally. Even a saddened life is better than the alternative. But then again, here I was, wishing I could melt into the pavement and never resurface. What a hypocrite.

**So you know how much I need you****  
****But you never even see me****  
**

"Artemis?"

Juliet's voice, thick and shaking, pulled me painfully from my own mind. I sat up, not wanting to hear anything she had to say.

"She's gone, Artemis. I'm sorry. We tried to stop her, told her it was lunacy…"

A cold swept through my system, one I hadn't anticipated. I had known that pain would follow her death, but this dead, creeping cold was worse than anything I had imagined. It clawed at my throat, and seemed to freeze everything below my broken heart. How cruel she had been, knowing I would experience this. And now I must live on, to honor her last request.

I felt the warmth of the room sweep around me, and yet it did not penetrate the awful, numb cold. I managed to stumble into my lab, strapping on protective gloves and goggles. But would it be truly horrible if the acid touched my skin? Surely that would penetrate the cold…

For minutes or hours, I don't know which, I stayed in my lab, desperately trying to cure every sickness known to man. A furious determination pulsed in my head, forcing me onward. Her voice pounded in my skull, speaking the last sentences of her letter.

**  
**_Be safe, Mud Boy. That is my only wish for you. A genius like this does not deserve to be wasted. Do great things.__  
_

It was my only purpose. It was the only thing I needed to accomplish in this life, and damn it, I would. **  
**

**What'd you think? Constructive crit always welcome.**


End file.
